Dear Non-Alcoholic Wine Moms,
Hi. I’m glad you are here. Maybe you don’t know me in real life or maybe (more likely) you do because to date I’ve not quite hit the level of blog success as The Pioneer Woman. Anyhow, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate your wine o’clock posts. I don’t hate your wine boomerangs. Okay sometimes those do annoy me but that’s purely a matter of personal irritation. You are able to drink alcohol responsibly and you’ve chosen to do so. I have zero issue with your decision. My issue is with this constant, inescapable message: Wine is a necessary accessory to motherhood. I don’t feel that you posting about having margaritas with your girlfriends perpetuates this message. I don’t even think you stating that it’s been a rough day and you could use a drink perpetuates the message (although I’d probably like to have a conversation with you about some alternative stress management techniques). What perpetuates this message is the constant, flippant portrayal of mothers over-drinking, day drinking, closet drinking, dreaming of drinking, and the like, in a funny, socially acceptable manner.
Mommy needs her juice.
This is Mommy’s sippy cup.
This Mama is fueled by coffee and sustained by wine.
All Mom wants for Mother’s Day is a hotel room to herself and a bottle (or two, wink wink) of wine.
I could go on and on, but I don’t have to because you’ve already seen the memes. Already chuckled at the cute, oversized Target t-shirts, already own the hand-painted mommy “sippy cup” that practically comes home in the formula sample bag from the hospital. Besides the obvious argument I have that this message is dangerous for moms who aren’t coping very well with motherhood to begin with, there are two other issues here worth noting. One, our kids are reading this. What message are we sending to our kids about parenting and adulthood? What are we teaching them about stress management? About handling emotions and feelings? Second, why are we buying into this mommy-wine marketing bullshit in the first place? I mean honestly-we’re seriously being duped! It’s equivalent to belly bands that swear to put your post-partum tummy back into it’s pre-pregnancy shape. It’s a lie. And the creators of this lie don’t care a single thing about your bad day momming. They care about making alcohol an expected and necessary accompaniment to every facet of your life by selling you the belief that if alcohol is not present, you are missing out. I swear it’s like we’re plugged into some sick alcohol marketing Matrix! Would this be an appropriate time to use the phrase “stay woke?”
So these are my beefs. Not you. And I truly hope you know I mean it. I’m not judging you. I’m (no longer) jealous that you can drink and I can’t. Your posts, along with any alcohol related post, healthy or not, will never and have never caused me to drink. But wine mom memes sure did cosign some bad checks for me and normalize some very un-normal behavior for me when I was drinking, and that’s a dangerous territory in which a lot of moms hang out. Those are the mamas I want to help.